Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
