listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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