She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i need some magic done to my vagina
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
