Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
