im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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