is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
