I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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