You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
