I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
