Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
