i will never coherently bang her
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
