you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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