so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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