if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
