Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
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He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
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I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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