I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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