i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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