Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
