i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i dont even know how to be here
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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