i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
