You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
