she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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