I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
