i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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