There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
