I wish I could punch you in the face.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
