Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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