Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize