I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize