woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
