He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
