Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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