one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
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