what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
