awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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