I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
