Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Randomize
