they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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