I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
