Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
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hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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