On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
