His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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