We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
