I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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