In the future we'll all be gay
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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