I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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