guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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