If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
