Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i was born a porn star she said
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
