I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
