I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
