what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
