Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize