I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
