Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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