Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
