you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you mean i was at the winter classic?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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