It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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