I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
