she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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