eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
