I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
