wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
